Spiritual abuse is when someone uses spiritual or religious beliefs to manipulate, control, or harm another person. Learn how you can spot the signs and what support options are available.
Religion and spirituality should bring a sense of comfort and peace to your life. However, when someone uses your beliefs to cause harm, it can evoke deep emotional and psychological wounds that can negatively affect your own relationship with your beliefs.
Spiritual abuse can often be challenging to recognize, which can make it difficult for people experiencing this type of abuse to speak out.
Remember, abuse is never your fault. You deserve to live a life free from fear. Many support options are available to help you right now.
Continue reading to learn how you can recognize the signs of spiritual abuse and the support that is available.
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Spiritual abuse occurs when someone uses spiritual or religious beliefs to manipulate, control, or harm another person. It can occur in many settings, such as:
- At home. A parent or caregiver using religious or spiritual practices to punish someone under their care in a home setting.
- Places of worship. Where a religious leader or someone with authority uses their power to isolate, harm, or control someone.
- Romantic relationships. A partner misuses religious text to justify
abuse or pressure you to do things you do not want to do - In a cult. Where a leader uses their power and influence to control behaviors, beliefs, and thoughts.
If someone pushes back against spiritual abuse, they may find that the abuser attempts to isolate them from their community, family, or social group. This is typically done to maintain control and silence anyone who tries to speak up.
A person who is spiritually abusive may:
- misuse scripture or religious text to justify abuse, control, or manipulation, and pressure you to do things you do not want to do, such as:
- have children
- raise you children in a certain religion
- be intimate or have sex with them, or someone else
- give away money or resources
- participate in certain religious or spiritual practices
- be forced into marrying someone
- dress a certain way
- show conditional love that is only given based on following strict rules
- twist scripture or religious text to humiliate or embarrass you
Spiritual abuse can also look like someone stopping you from practising your religion or spiritual practices in the way that you would like, or shaming your beliefs.
Experiencing any type of abuse can negatively affect your health. Regularly experiencing emotions like fear, shame, and guilt can cause you to always be hyper-vigilant which can place stress on your body and lead to physical symptoms such as:
- difficulty sleeping
- increased risk of heart disease
- low immune system
- unhealthy eating habits
- increased pain
- bloating
- nausea
- headaches
It can also affect your mental health and
- have frequent nightmares
- have trouble concentrating
- experience a loss of interest in usual activities
- feel angry, worried, or numb constantly
- have trouble making decisions
If you are experiencing spiritual abuse, there are several organizations that offer tools and resources to help support you.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 800-799-7233.
- National Deaf Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 855-812-1001 or text START to 88788.
- Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: Call or text 800-422-4453.
If you are experiencing domestic abuse and need legal support, the following organizations can provide guidance:
- WomensLaw.org: State-specific information on protective laws.
- Legal Services Corporation: Financial support for those who are low-income.
- Immigrant Legal Resource Center: Advice and advocacy for non-U.S. citizens.
You should call 911 if you or someone else is in immediate danger or needs medical attention. In most states, you can choose to make a report anonymously.
Healing after spiritual abuse can feel deeply complex. You may feel angry, isolated, numb, or betrayed. You may also feel uncertain about whether you still hold the same religious or spiritual beliefs. It’s ok to feel all of these things.
It’s important to be gentle with yourself and take the time you need to heal. Remember, there is no fixed timeline for healing from abuse.
If you do choose to revisit your relationship with spirituality or religion, you can do this when you feel safe and ready to do so. Your new path may look different, and that’s ok. You are allowed to choose a life that leaves you feeling nourished, empowered, and true to you.
Spiritual abuse is when someone uses spiritual or religious beliefs to manipulate, control, or harm another person.
It can negatively affect your emotional and psychological health, and leave you feeling confused, isolated, or betrayed.
Remember, abuse is never your fault. You deserve to live a life free from fear. Many support options are available to help you right now.